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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26060620">l'appel du vide  [the call of the void]</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/sanethroughfics/pseuds/sanethroughfics'>sanethroughfics</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Akaashi is a mess, Alternate Universe - After College/University, Angst, Fluff, Hurt, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Kuroo has feelings he didn't know he had, Kuroo saving Akaashi from doing a mistake, M/M, Pain, this is just me trying to turn past buried things to words</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 11:20:33</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,620</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26060620</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/sanethroughfics/pseuds/sanethroughfics</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>He looked like a painting standing there under the dark clouds. Winds were whirling around his body making him look like he was dancing. </p><p>Kuroo thought Akaashi looked like art. </p><p>If they just wouldn't be standing on top of a building with Akaashi screaming like his life depended on it.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Akaashi Keiji/Kuroo Tetsurou</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>23</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>l'appel du vide  [the call of the void]</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I recommend listening to:</p><p>Whirling Winds by Ludovico Einaudi, Amsterdam Sinfonietta</p><p>Connect The Dots by Async Ross</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Dark clouds were gathering when Kuroo Tetsurou packed his books and decided to go home before heavy rain would pour down on him. He could've studied for longer but he needed to eat before going to his part time job, where he was when he wasn't at college or at home trying to get as much sleep as possible. With fast steps he was about to leave the campus when he caught sight of Akaashi Keiji.</p><p>They knew each other from Bokuto Koutarou who was his best friend back in high school when they were playing volleyball. They've talked to each other and met a few times but that was it. Years passed, they graduated from highschool, Bokuto started travelling around the country and many other of their friends either started going to college or work. Kuroo and Akaashi were part of those who chose to study. </p><p>It was actually sad how rarely he was seeing his friend or well... anyone. He was a social person but that changed a lot. Most of the time he was studying by himself or with a group of other students who could be of help when he wouldn't understand something the professors explained. </p><p>If Akaashi wouldn't have a grim expression and be in such a hurry to get into the building Kuroo probably would've gone home but something in his gut told him to follow him. Because, from the big windows, he could see Akaashi taking many steps at once to reach the higher floors. </p><p>He looked up to the sky wondering why he felt troubled, why he was getting anxious seeing Akaashi like that. So he followed him. Back into the college and up. With every step he got faster and more determined to see what was going on. </p><p>A loud bang made him stop. He looked around and realised how Akaashi must've gone to the rooftop. </p><p>And that was okay, <em>right?</em><br/>
Students would always creep up there to smoke or make out in between breaks. He probably only needs a break. But... It would be okay if it wouldn't be Akaashi. </p><p>Akaashi was alone and in a hurry. Akaashi was the type to keep everything to himself. Kuroo knew this because whenever he was close to Akaashi he was observing him. Not only because Akaashi was beautiful and was giving him a pricking feeling in the stomach but also because he rarely saw Akaashi show an expression, other than a blank or annoyed one. He didn't talk much, especially not with people with whom he wasn't close or comfortable with. Akaashi worked hard, he studied a lot. </p><p>Kuroo didn't see Akaashi anywhere other than on campus or in the library that's why it wasn't really okay for Akaashi to go to the rooftop. </p><p>As Kuroo reached the door he tried to be as silent and cautious as possible. He didn't know what Akaashi was doing, he didn't know what he was thinking about or how he was feeling. </p><p>The first thing he felt was the strong, cold wind hitting his face which almost made him tumble back down the stairs.<br/>
The first thing he saw was Akaashi standing too close to the railing.<br/>
The first thing he heard was him gasping. </p><p>His eyes went big and his heart was racing. What was Akaashi doing there? 
<em>Why</em> was he standing there? What was he thinking? Was he <em>hurt? </em>  Was he <em>in pain? </em>  

Was he thinking about... <em>death? N-No...</em> that couldn't be it, right? </p><p>Kuroo didn't know if he was unnecessarily worrying. He didn't know if he was just too scared from what he was seeing, if he was just misinterpreting the situation or if there was truth behind his thoughts. He didn't have an answer to any of those questions in his head but he needed to get closer. He needed Akaashi close to himself, away from the railing. He knew he needed to stop Akaashi from doing whatever he was doing at that moment. But first he needed to calm down. He tried to slowly breath in and out. Run his fingers through his messy hair to calm down his nerves. Unsuccessful. He smiled to neutralise the expression he must've had and started to slowly reach Akaashi.</p><p>He couldn't see his face yet, but Akaashi just looked straight forward. His black hair was flattering in the wind. Overall it was a sad picture but Akaashi still looked so beautiful. The view in front of him looked like a painting from a gallery. He couldn't take his eyes away. Akaashi didn't move. He just stood there, staring. </p><p>Kuroo didn't know what to do. Why was he so afraid, so insecure when he usually was pretty confident, easygoing and calm? While he was absent for a second Akaashi got even closer to the railing about to climb up the only thing that was keeping him from falling off the building. </p><p>"A-", Kuroo froze. </p><p>His voice didn't come out. His mouth went dry. He just stared at Akaashi moving upwards with a shocked expression. <em>Why the fuck wasn't he doing something?</em> His heart was hammering in his chest but he wouldn't have a chance to do anything when Akaashi was gone from his view. </p><p>So he just reached out and held him by the hem of his pants. </p><p>Akaashi stopped. Slowly turned his head and when he recognised Kuroo standing in front of him, holding him back from going any further his blank expression changed to a horrified one. It didn't last long. There was no life on his face. Then he tried to pull away his leg.</p><p>"Akaashi..." He saw him gripping the grid even stronger, knuckles turning white. "Come down." </p><p>"Let me go!", his voice came out strained when he screamed at him. "Go away!" </p><p>Kuroo would not go away. He was going to bring Akaashi down. Alive. He tried to remember, tried to think about how to behave in such a critical situation. There was not much he could think of but he knew he needed to be careful and keep talking. </p><p>"Akaashi. Come down. Tell me, what's wrong?" He was scared to make a mistake. He was scared to hurt him even more.</p><p>Kuroo saw him breathing in. With closed eyes, puckered brows and lips pressed tightly together. He looked like he was in pain. </p><p>"I'm not gonna hurt you. I'm not gonna force you to talk to me or do anything else. But... <em>please...</em> come down. Do you want me to call for someone? Do you need something?" </p><p>At that Akaashi shortly glared at him but then he started to crumble. Different kinds of emotions were showing on his face. It started with anger. </p><p>"Let me go. Let me go! Leave me! Go away!" Akaashi was screaming. Slightly bringing some distance between them. He furiously started to shake the grid. Stomped his feet to the ground. "Fuck off!"</p><p>"No." He tried to stay calm. Tried to sound as firm and yet soft as possible. </p><p>"I said fuck off! What do you want from me!? Go away from me. Stay away." </p><p>"No. I won't go until you get down and out of the building." With that Kuroo let go of Akaashis pants and took that one big step to stand on the same level as him. </p><p>"Why?! Why won't you just go?! Why not?! Can't you see?! Can't you see me?! In what kind of situation I am?! I'm-" He looked away.</p><p>"I'll stay here. No matter for how long. No matter how much time passes. Akaashi, even if you need until tomorrow morning. Or the next day. I won't leave you here all alone. I'll wait. I'll stay."</p><p>There was a long pause. Kuroo could taste blood from how hard he was biting on his lip. </p><p>Then Akaashi started screaming again. No particular words. He just stood there, holding the grid tightly and screamed like his life depended on it. He sounded like he was crying with the wind. It cut Kuroo to the quick seeing and hearing Akaashi like that. Maybe it shouldn't because now he was obviously letting out something that must've been troubling him but knowing that he must've suffered a lot to get to that point hurt him so fucking much. It was hard to breath. </p><p>Until then Kuroo didn't realise how much he actually liked Akaashi. He didn't give much thought to it but Akaashi was often on his mind. There were even times when he invited Akaashi to join him with studying, if it's in a café or in the library, but Akaashi always declined telling him he'd prefer to do it alone. And after a while Kuroo stopped. He didn't want to interfere with his studies. But now he regretted not having done more. He should've called him, texted him. He should've gone to see him. <em>He should've.</em> </p><p>At some point while screaming Akaashi started to cry. His arms and shoulders were sagging, red circles just like flowers forming around his blue eyes, the colour of his fingers matching his eyes. Kuroo just wanted to hold him. He wanted to take his hand. He wanted to embrace him to make him understand he wasn't alone, to make him understand he was safe and okay. He wanted him to feel loved. He wanted to warm him up, bring him down and away from the railing, make him feel better. Kuroo wanted to wash away the sadness in Akaashis eyes. He wanted to softly kiss them. He wanted to see him smile. </p><p>But he needed to be patient. He told Akaashi he would wait. So he would. </p><p>On top of the building, under dark clouds, with trembling fingers and a pained but warm heart.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Uhm... oh my gosh okay<br/>this is the first time I'm actively writing or well TRYING to write something and actually posting on here so I'm A VERY BEGINNER and English is my third language so I'm struggling with words but I'm trying.<br/>(If there should be any mistakes I'M SORRY please let me know)</p><p>If you read this THANK YOU SO MUCH and sorry for having made you go through this dry/boring thing. I'd be so very glad about any kind of "motivation" especially if you could leave me a comment about what your opinions, what you think of this and on how I could improve certain things, what you've disliked/liked etc. </p><p>This will probably be a very short story with maybe one or two more chapters but bc this was so spontaneous/impulsive of me I can't say smth for sure yet - so tags will be added.</p><p>Again thank you so much!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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